She only looks cute.
Not really. She is just as sweet as she is cute. And even more energetic. Which is why I am constantly telling Jessa to stop running. Even more so than her big sister because Jessa is super tall and is growing super fast. At barely 5yrs old (April baby) she is already wearing size 6 pants; and even they are beginning to look short. Hubs may have been joking when he said it but I swear he may be right - that girl grows so fast her body doesn't have time to adjust to her new height, which is why she is so clumsy and always falling down. Especially when she runs.
And the girl loves to run.
Our latest "stop running" incident happened at TKD on Monday. As usual I picked the girls up from school and headed over to Jason Yi's. They got changed and had a snack. Ten minutes before class gave them about five minutes to run around the mat and burn off some of that energy before class starts - they have a lot of energy to burn and being cooped up in classes all day is such a downer. But instead of running on the mat like they are supposed to Jessa chose the wood floor as her stomping ground.
As I stand to go retrieve the "Graduation" flyer I spotted I see a blur of Jessa streak past followed by a rather loud thud. I didn't even have time to turn around before the crying and screaming started. Of course when you have a child who is always running and always falling you begin to chalk it up as yet another "I told you so" moment. And I did.
After hoisting her up off the floor and making her sit in the nearest chair I took a deep breath and went after that elusive flyer I had my eyes on before the screaming started. By now I'm used to her over dramatic crying and screaming fits when she does something to hurt herself so I really just chalked it up as another Jessa moment. But she just wouldn't stop crying. After a few minutes I knew something was definitely wrong but there was no blood, no cuts, no bruising, and no swelling. We were offered ice before but I turned it down because there were no signs of injury and I honestly thought she hurt her pride more than her body. Little did I know. I finally relented and got her the ice pack.
Twenty minutes passed and she finally relaxed enough to pass out. That or she was so exhausted from the shock and pain - not to mention she may have hit her head and I didn't know it. This was a possibility considering when I went to retrieve her from the floor her arms and head were crammed up against the metal framework of the glass front of TKD. She only slept for a few minutes but it was enough to make her feel a little better.
After such a traumatic experience one would think a 5yr old girl would want to do little else, and although getting her to join her class was a no-go once we got home you wouldn't think she did anything to hurt herself. Other than favoring her left hand she gave no indication she was hurting. After some pain meds and an ace wrap she was more than ready for bed, and she passed out quite easily. Looking back at it now I should have been more concerned she may have had a concussion. Of course that was negated when she woke up screaming and crying later that night. Apparently she rolled over on her wrist and it didn't feel too good.
It took me a while to get her calm again. Some more pain meds and a quick drink; a snuggle and a kiss and off to dream land she went.
The next morning she was hurting but not so bad that she couldn't do anything so I sent her to school with her hand/arm wrapped and called her Dr to make an appt just to be on the safe side. Good thing too. As it turns out, based on the call I got today after her x-rays were reviewed, she has fractured her radius near the wrist and possibly the ulna as well. Fantastic.
So after all those years of yelling at her to stop running or she will break a bone she finally did. Fractured her first bone. Oh well. I suspect this will not be the only time our little ball of energy breaks or fractures something. At least now we know - and by the way, hubs, I was right. We DID need to keep it wrapped.
Hopefully the Ortho appt this afternoon will warrant a cast. Not that I want a cast on her arm/hand, but given her level of energy and her ability to injure herself I'd rather have a cast on her now than have to deal with long term problems from the bones not healing properly.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
A New Start
Ya know, I hate to say it, but I sure can screw things up around here. Somehow I always seem to make mountains out of mole hills; take insignificant comments and make them a serious offense. Sometimes I really hate myself. Not that I hate me, but that I hate the things I do. Worse yet - I hate that I am STILL not able to control my emotions. Something I have been working on for months years. There is progress to be seen but sometimes it seems like the mile of road I just drug myself down is still sitting in front of my feet. Why, oh why do I continue doing this crap?
I am trying. I will not give up. I just hope I figure it out before I destroy my family, my children, and my own sanity. I absolutely refuse to live my life as if I need meds just to be normal. I am normal and I WILL find that calm loving normal life I have so-longed for. Without the drama; without the arguments; without the passive aggressive silence.
Since I no longer have Facebook as an outlet (more on that in a moment) I have to find other ways to vent. Ways that I can say what I feel without worrying MIL will run back to hubs with what I'm posting. I've tried journals but when you're more afraid to write in them for fear of being read by your mother its a mute point. But I need an outlet. Creative as I am, and I love to make things, there is just no room in our finances for that. I enjoy writing and I love being connected to the outside world but I cannot trust the MIL not to run back to hubs with the latest gossip on subjects that don't require his intervention or knowledge. Hence the Facebook debacle...... there will be some beating around the bush here but I'll get to it. I promise.
If there is one subject hubs and I go round and round about its jobs. I've accepted it long ago that I will never get another chance at that dream job - the UA position, or something similar. That boat sailed away long ago and I figured that out way too late. But when you've worked your ass off all your life just to get ahead; when you've made sacrifice after sacrifice for most of your life; when you've gone from stocking shelves at the local janitorial supply company in po-dunk GA to being in charge of every aspect of the entire month's operations for 64 soldiers in a military company - its hard to face the music and open your eyes to the reality that is - I am 40+ years old. I am under-educated. I have been out of the work force for more than eight years. The best employment opportunity I can hope for at this juncture is entry level, minimum wage jobs with corporations that care nothing of their employees.
Sorry. Its a hard reality to swallow but it is the only reality left for me in the world of working. I have had my resume on Monster.com since June 2011 and I've not gotten one single interview offer. Not one. Been on CareeerBuilder.com and Snagajob.com for almost as long. Nothing. I keep applying and they keep ignoring me. Granted I haven't gone out of my way to do a massive scale job search but I have looked and in all honesty there are a thousand jobs I could do but because I don't hold some stupid sheet of paper that says "Yes, this individual was crazy enough to sink thousands of dollars into a college degree that she will probably never use" or "Yes, this fool is focused enough to commit to and finish four years of school" I cannot even get past the qualifications requirements. I see these jobs a dime a dozen and I keep applying for them even though I know the answer will be "Yeah, right", but I keep applying and they keep passing me by.
John and I have had in depth conversations about the amount of salary I would need to bring in just to afford before/after care for the girls - that shit's expensive !!! We have sat down and hashed out schedules of how to make things work so we could avoid the cost of paying someone else to raise our girls. Truth is there are no jobs that I qualify for that will pay me what we need, and the jobs that do pay that well I sure as hell aren't qualified for.
So a while back I decided if I can't find a job to pay me what we need; one that is flexible enough to work with me around taking care of the girls; then I would start getting down to brass tacks on how to save as much money as possible. I've gotten back into clipping coupons and that has been helpful. One monthly trip to the stores scored me a net savings of $150+ on groceries. SWEET !!! I've searched out and found discounts for just about every possible thing we could use and I've stopped spending $$ if I didn't have to. The girls lunches were streamlined to make it easier for them to pick out what items they wanted to have each day and I found suitable substitutes for items they wanted but are more expensive. I've started shopping dollar stores and discount stores for off brand groceries and thankfully, the absolute biggest way I found to save money was by using BJ's coupons at Giant. THAT is an amazing amount of savings.
But things were still tight and when you get a bill saying the taxes on one of the three vehicles you own is more than $500 you can't help but feel your heart sink. All that work to save money has just been negated for one unexpected bill. So you start thinking - there just has to be another way to make/save money. So I started posting stuff on FB to sell on the local yard sale sights. And it was working. I was unloading some of the stuff from the girls past years and making some extra cash on the side. Granted it wasn't a lot but it was something. Then one day I get a request for me to meet two ladies in the next town over so they can go through all my girls clothes. It was an opportunity to make something big happen and I woke up excited.
I packed the car with every article of clothing I had. Sent the girls off to school and hit the road. All the way there I kept thinking "I sure hope this isn't a waste." "I sure hope I can make at least $25." Imagine my surprise when these two ladies offered up $60 for what was the equivalent of $30 worth of yard sale clothing? I WAS ECSTATIC. Bouncing off the walls happy. I managed to unload a ton of stuff and make a chunk of change in the process. I headed back with the rest of my stuff, stopping at the local dollar store to stock up on Halloween candy and decor (my thought was I don't spend what I don't make).
That evening when the kids got home they were super active. As usual every five seconds it was "mommy", "mommy", "mommy". Talk about fingers on a chalkboard. Then hubs shows up (I never know when he will be walking though the door). All I can think about is how much money I made today and I couldn't wait to share the news. So imagine how it felt when you husband makes the comment "Well, only one of us has a job."
Wow.
Sudden and unexpected deflation. It was like standing on the bow of the Titanic watching the blades of the turbine below. No matter what I did I was always going to end up in the worst case scenario.
Of course my uncontrollable reaction is instant anger. How the fuck dare he make such a comment? Its not like I haven't been looking. Its not like we haven't talked about this situation a thousand times over, and yet he is still peeved at the idea that I'm home, supposedly doing nothing, while everything lies on his shoulders.
Normally I would have gone off the deep end - yelling at him and the girls, throwing things, stomping around the house in a fit of anger. But not this time. I silently walked away. Dinner finished I chose not to eat - seriously, I can't be around someone after they've pissed me off like that. Instead I focused on cleaning house. Hubs was ticked and clearly it had to be that the house wasn't clean. Ok, decision made. He has this twisted notion that I do nothing around here so its time to show him just what I do when he's not here - what I take care of.
A set of index cards and a pen and a roll of tape. Each card was used to post an upcoming event - the girls TaeKwonDo schedule, the girls cheerleading schedule, field trips for the girls, etc - everything happening that I have always taken care of made it onto an index card stuck to the refrigerator door. Paperwork that needed to be read, signed, returned was piled on the island counter. I even went as far as to tell myself that regardless of what job I got; regardless of what schedule I would work that I was no longer going to worry and fret about how the girls were going to get to their appointments or even how they were going to get to or from school, or who was going to take care of them when I'm not home. For years now I have passed up jobs that I knew would have no option for flexibility to ensure I could get the girls on the bus in the morning and off the bus in the afternoon.
I have gone as far as politely forcing my foot into the door of other peoples businesses in hopes of landing a job. Even volunteered to take on a teaching job for free if it meant getting back into the work force, and here I am a year later. Waiting for any of those things to come through. Nothing. I give and give and I've not gotten anything back. Not a thing. What I did get was the equivalent of a swift open handed face slap from the hubs because "I don't have a job." Yeah. I know.
The silent treatment went on all night and wouldn't you know it, the girls decided that would be a good time to see which buttons to push on mommy. So instead of going to and staying in bed so I could get online and submit applications to any damn job available, they opt to play; to go back and forth from each others room. At 9pm I make them come down stairs and sit in their favorite seats next to the fireplace. Actually they hate those seats more than a swift pop on the butt. And instead of leaving the situation alone at that they started taking verbal jabs at me. "I hate you". "I wish I had another mommy." "I want a mommy who isn't mean."
And I blew it. Fine. You want another mommy so bad go tell daddy you want me gone. Go tell your daddy I am not your mommy and be sure to tell him you hate me because I tried to make you go to bed. I'm done. Don't even care if you hate me. I'm through giving you everything and getting this crap in return. I'm the one who took you to baseball games. I'm the one who got you into the pageants. I'm the one who made your interview outfits and your other clothes. I'm the one who searched for weeks for your formal dress. I'm the one who takes you places during the summer. I'm the one who sits down with you and helps you with homework. I'm the one who is trying to teach you how to ride your bike without training wheels. I'm the one who cooks, cleans, and does the laundry. I'm the one whose spent weeks planning and creating your Halloween costumes. I'm the one who decorates for the holidays. I'm the one who bakes all those cookies. So if all you can do is hate me in return then I'll be sure to not do any of that anymore.
Oh, and you can pack your own lunches for school. Got PE ? Hope you know when because I'm not telling you when you need to wear your tennis shoes. Hope you can figure out how to read a weather report 'cause I'm not telling you how to dress so you're not too hot or cold. Back to school night ? Hope your daddy knows because I'm not going. I'm not doing anything else other than what I absolutely have to. Sure hope you two and your daddy can figure out how much of your lives I help run smoothly before its too late because I'm tired of being everyone's punching bag and I'm not taking it any more. So when I DO find a job I'm not going to worry about how you're getting from school to TKD or if anyone is going to be at the bus stop to pick you up. I'm not going to worry about your homework getting done and I'm not going to care that you have no clean clothes. Need clean undies and socks - better figure out how to do your own laundry or have your daddy do it for you.
THAT is how angry I get. I really do get sick of being taken for granted.
I truly do love doing things for my girls and I seriously would give anything to give them the opportunities that I never had, but at some point all that giving takes a toll and I just have nothing else left.
I am trying. I will not give up. I just hope I figure it out before I destroy my family, my children, and my own sanity. I absolutely refuse to live my life as if I need meds just to be normal. I am normal and I WILL find that calm loving normal life I have so-longed for. Without the drama; without the arguments; without the passive aggressive silence.
Since I no longer have Facebook as an outlet (more on that in a moment) I have to find other ways to vent. Ways that I can say what I feel without worrying MIL will run back to hubs with what I'm posting. I've tried journals but when you're more afraid to write in them for fear of being read by your mother its a mute point. But I need an outlet. Creative as I am, and I love to make things, there is just no room in our finances for that. I enjoy writing and I love being connected to the outside world but I cannot trust the MIL not to run back to hubs with the latest gossip on subjects that don't require his intervention or knowledge. Hence the Facebook debacle...... there will be some beating around the bush here but I'll get to it. I promise.
If there is one subject hubs and I go round and round about its jobs. I've accepted it long ago that I will never get another chance at that dream job - the UA position, or something similar. That boat sailed away long ago and I figured that out way too late. But when you've worked your ass off all your life just to get ahead; when you've made sacrifice after sacrifice for most of your life; when you've gone from stocking shelves at the local janitorial supply company in po-dunk GA to being in charge of every aspect of the entire month's operations for 64 soldiers in a military company - its hard to face the music and open your eyes to the reality that is - I am 40+ years old. I am under-educated. I have been out of the work force for more than eight years. The best employment opportunity I can hope for at this juncture is entry level, minimum wage jobs with corporations that care nothing of their employees.
Sorry. Its a hard reality to swallow but it is the only reality left for me in the world of working. I have had my resume on Monster.com since June 2011 and I've not gotten one single interview offer. Not one. Been on CareeerBuilder.com and Snagajob.com for almost as long. Nothing. I keep applying and they keep ignoring me. Granted I haven't gone out of my way to do a massive scale job search but I have looked and in all honesty there are a thousand jobs I could do but because I don't hold some stupid sheet of paper that says "Yes, this individual was crazy enough to sink thousands of dollars into a college degree that she will probably never use" or "Yes, this fool is focused enough to commit to and finish four years of school" I cannot even get past the qualifications requirements. I see these jobs a dime a dozen and I keep applying for them even though I know the answer will be "Yeah, right", but I keep applying and they keep passing me by.
John and I have had in depth conversations about the amount of salary I would need to bring in just to afford before/after care for the girls - that shit's expensive !!! We have sat down and hashed out schedules of how to make things work so we could avoid the cost of paying someone else to raise our girls. Truth is there are no jobs that I qualify for that will pay me what we need, and the jobs that do pay that well I sure as hell aren't qualified for.
So a while back I decided if I can't find a job to pay me what we need; one that is flexible enough to work with me around taking care of the girls; then I would start getting down to brass tacks on how to save as much money as possible. I've gotten back into clipping coupons and that has been helpful. One monthly trip to the stores scored me a net savings of $150+ on groceries. SWEET !!! I've searched out and found discounts for just about every possible thing we could use and I've stopped spending $$ if I didn't have to. The girls lunches were streamlined to make it easier for them to pick out what items they wanted to have each day and I found suitable substitutes for items they wanted but are more expensive. I've started shopping dollar stores and discount stores for off brand groceries and thankfully, the absolute biggest way I found to save money was by using BJ's coupons at Giant. THAT is an amazing amount of savings.
But things were still tight and when you get a bill saying the taxes on one of the three vehicles you own is more than $500 you can't help but feel your heart sink. All that work to save money has just been negated for one unexpected bill. So you start thinking - there just has to be another way to make/save money. So I started posting stuff on FB to sell on the local yard sale sights. And it was working. I was unloading some of the stuff from the girls past years and making some extra cash on the side. Granted it wasn't a lot but it was something. Then one day I get a request for me to meet two ladies in the next town over so they can go through all my girls clothes. It was an opportunity to make something big happen and I woke up excited.
I packed the car with every article of clothing I had. Sent the girls off to school and hit the road. All the way there I kept thinking "I sure hope this isn't a waste." "I sure hope I can make at least $25." Imagine my surprise when these two ladies offered up $60 for what was the equivalent of $30 worth of yard sale clothing? I WAS ECSTATIC. Bouncing off the walls happy. I managed to unload a ton of stuff and make a chunk of change in the process. I headed back with the rest of my stuff, stopping at the local dollar store to stock up on Halloween candy and decor (my thought was I don't spend what I don't make).
That evening when the kids got home they were super active. As usual every five seconds it was "mommy", "mommy", "mommy". Talk about fingers on a chalkboard. Then hubs shows up (I never know when he will be walking though the door). All I can think about is how much money I made today and I couldn't wait to share the news. So imagine how it felt when you husband makes the comment "Well, only one of us has a job."
Wow.
Sudden and unexpected deflation. It was like standing on the bow of the Titanic watching the blades of the turbine below. No matter what I did I was always going to end up in the worst case scenario.
Of course my uncontrollable reaction is instant anger. How the fuck dare he make such a comment? Its not like I haven't been looking. Its not like we haven't talked about this situation a thousand times over, and yet he is still peeved at the idea that I'm home, supposedly doing nothing, while everything lies on his shoulders.
Normally I would have gone off the deep end - yelling at him and the girls, throwing things, stomping around the house in a fit of anger. But not this time. I silently walked away. Dinner finished I chose not to eat - seriously, I can't be around someone after they've pissed me off like that. Instead I focused on cleaning house. Hubs was ticked and clearly it had to be that the house wasn't clean. Ok, decision made. He has this twisted notion that I do nothing around here so its time to show him just what I do when he's not here - what I take care of.
A set of index cards and a pen and a roll of tape. Each card was used to post an upcoming event - the girls TaeKwonDo schedule, the girls cheerleading schedule, field trips for the girls, etc - everything happening that I have always taken care of made it onto an index card stuck to the refrigerator door. Paperwork that needed to be read, signed, returned was piled on the island counter. I even went as far as to tell myself that regardless of what job I got; regardless of what schedule I would work that I was no longer going to worry and fret about how the girls were going to get to their appointments or even how they were going to get to or from school, or who was going to take care of them when I'm not home. For years now I have passed up jobs that I knew would have no option for flexibility to ensure I could get the girls on the bus in the morning and off the bus in the afternoon.
I have gone as far as politely forcing my foot into the door of other peoples businesses in hopes of landing a job. Even volunteered to take on a teaching job for free if it meant getting back into the work force, and here I am a year later. Waiting for any of those things to come through. Nothing. I give and give and I've not gotten anything back. Not a thing. What I did get was the equivalent of a swift open handed face slap from the hubs because "I don't have a job." Yeah. I know.
The silent treatment went on all night and wouldn't you know it, the girls decided that would be a good time to see which buttons to push on mommy. So instead of going to and staying in bed so I could get online and submit applications to any damn job available, they opt to play; to go back and forth from each others room. At 9pm I make them come down stairs and sit in their favorite seats next to the fireplace. Actually they hate those seats more than a swift pop on the butt. And instead of leaving the situation alone at that they started taking verbal jabs at me. "I hate you". "I wish I had another mommy." "I want a mommy who isn't mean."
And I blew it. Fine. You want another mommy so bad go tell daddy you want me gone. Go tell your daddy I am not your mommy and be sure to tell him you hate me because I tried to make you go to bed. I'm done. Don't even care if you hate me. I'm through giving you everything and getting this crap in return. I'm the one who took you to baseball games. I'm the one who got you into the pageants. I'm the one who made your interview outfits and your other clothes. I'm the one who searched for weeks for your formal dress. I'm the one who takes you places during the summer. I'm the one who sits down with you and helps you with homework. I'm the one who is trying to teach you how to ride your bike without training wheels. I'm the one who cooks, cleans, and does the laundry. I'm the one whose spent weeks planning and creating your Halloween costumes. I'm the one who decorates for the holidays. I'm the one who bakes all those cookies. So if all you can do is hate me in return then I'll be sure to not do any of that anymore.
Oh, and you can pack your own lunches for school. Got PE ? Hope you know when because I'm not telling you when you need to wear your tennis shoes. Hope you can figure out how to read a weather report 'cause I'm not telling you how to dress so you're not too hot or cold. Back to school night ? Hope your daddy knows because I'm not going. I'm not doing anything else other than what I absolutely have to. Sure hope you two and your daddy can figure out how much of your lives I help run smoothly before its too late because I'm tired of being everyone's punching bag and I'm not taking it any more. So when I DO find a job I'm not going to worry about how you're getting from school to TKD or if anyone is going to be at the bus stop to pick you up. I'm not going to worry about your homework getting done and I'm not going to care that you have no clean clothes. Need clean undies and socks - better figure out how to do your own laundry or have your daddy do it for you.
THAT is how angry I get. I really do get sick of being taken for granted.
I truly do love doing things for my girls and I seriously would give anything to give them the opportunities that I never had, but at some point all that giving takes a toll and I just have nothing else left.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Where have I been?
Right here. Just been really, REALLY busy trying to get the girls ready for back to school.
I've been trying to get some sewing done this year for the girls so here is my latest creation.
I found this pick online and at first glance thought it was shorter in front. So using some of the beautiful wolf faux fur material the girls picked out on clearance a while back I threw together a few pieces from different patterns and tried to create this.
And with that said here's what I just finished making last night for Samantha.
Cute? She thinks so. So much so that she wanted to put it on this morning. Ha. It may be a little chillier than normal around here today but no where near cold enough for a fur jacket.
Today I'll be spending the majority of the morning trying to put together a coat or jacket, or shawl for Jessa. She is coming into her own style so it will be different from Samantha's but I'll be using the same material. Add to that the fact that I have a TON of material to use for shirts, sweaters, shorts, pants, vests, jackets and more, and you can see why I've been a little absent lately.
One thing I do need to do is update our 101 list. Lets see if there was anything interesting we did over the past couple of weeks.....
DONE:
#31 play on a playground
#38 go to a movie theater
#42 camp out in our own backyard / living room
#50 go to a bounce house
#76 volunteer
#93 preview K/2nd grade lessons
#95 do a pageant
#96 do a book report every week
See? We have been busy. I just need to do a better job of updating my blog.
After much contemplation I decided to change Samantha's coat into a jacket by chopping off the bottom of the back. Much better. And with Jessa's jacket finished they are now ready for any cold days come this fall and winter.
Next up - working on my first maxi-skirt for myself. Yep. I'm going to sew myself something. Who woulda thunk it? LOL.
I've been trying to get some sewing done this year for the girls so here is my latest creation.
I found this pick online and at first glance thought it was shorter in front. So using some of the beautiful wolf faux fur material the girls picked out on clearance a while back I threw together a few pieces from different patterns and tried to create this.
And with that said here's what I just finished making last night for Samantha.
Grainy cell phone pics. Sorry.
Cute? She thinks so. So much so that she wanted to put it on this morning. Ha. It may be a little chillier than normal around here today but no where near cold enough for a fur jacket.
Today I'll be spending the majority of the morning trying to put together a coat or jacket, or shawl for Jessa. She is coming into her own style so it will be different from Samantha's but I'll be using the same material. Add to that the fact that I have a TON of material to use for shirts, sweaters, shorts, pants, vests, jackets and more, and you can see why I've been a little absent lately.
One thing I do need to do is update our 101 list. Lets see if there was anything interesting we did over the past couple of weeks.....
DONE:
#31 play on a playground
#38 go to a movie theater
#42 camp out in our own backyard / living room
#50 go to a bounce house
#76 volunteer
#93 preview K/2nd grade lessons
#95 do a pageant
#96 do a book report every week
See? We have been busy. I just need to do a better job of updating my blog.
UPDATE
After much contemplation I decided to change Samantha's coat into a jacket by chopping off the bottom of the back. Much better. And with Jessa's jacket finished they are now ready for any cold days come this fall and winter.
Next up - working on my first maxi-skirt for myself. Yep. I'm going to sew myself something. Who woulda thunk it? LOL.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Some people should never be parents
Normally I don't voice my opinion as to someone's personal parenting style because, well, lets face it, we all parent differently and every kid is different. What works for one family may not work at all for another, so unless there is some sort of obvious neglect or abuse happening I just let parents parent the way they see fit.
That said I really think some people should never have had kids.
I used to babysit for a neighbor. She was sweet enough and her husband was always quite but that baby of theirs was another story completely. She cried and screamed all the time, refused to eat solids when it came time, and gave me the hardest time when trying to get her to take a bottle (mom breast fed). Honestly the poor child spent more time alone because that seemed to be when she was happiest. So when it was nap time I'd put a few toys in the bed with her and when she woke up she would just sit and play. I always felt bad because it seemed like no matter how hard I tried I just could not make her happy. As it turned out (and I found out strictly by accident) the entire time she was suffering with massive ear infections. So bad they had to put tubes in her ears. Poor baby. Now I really do feel bad for her.
Then one day, out of the blue her mom says she is pulling "G" to put her in a real school environment. I was completely shocked as when we started that venture she had agreed that when it came time for her to pull G she would give me some advanced notice. But to show up on a Thursday and tell me Friday will be her last day - not advanced enough. At first I was disappointed. I loved G even if she was rarely happy. After a while I was thankful I no longer had to listen to her constant whaling, and was grateful to know peace was restored.
I haven't talked to G's mom or dad since they pulled her but I do on occasion check out mom's blog just to see how G is doing. That's how I found out about the ear infections and tubes. That's also why I say some people have no business be parents.
This week I checked in to see how G was doing and what I read on mom's blog was so offensive I was appalled for G. Mom, who is a complete fashion whore (and I mean that with the upmost respect) actually had the audacity to call her two year old daughter an "asshole." SERIOUSLY ?? An asshole?
Isn't that the child you tried so hard to have you nearly went bankrupt with medical procedure after procedure Isn't this the child you wanted so bad you cried because she wasn't here yet? Isn't she the daughter you wanted so you could dress her up and make her look like a mini-you? So what the hell would possess you to call her an asshole. Worse yet, why would you do it on a public blog, knowing good and well when G grows up she is going to read that for herself?
How could one person be so offensive? Especially to her own child. Then I thought about all the posts I see her blog about - fashion, me, me, me, G, fashion, me, me, me. This mommy is about the most selfish person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. Ever. Every day its a post of pic after pic of herself in some new outfit (OMG....can you PLEASE pic a different pose for once). Only on Tuesdays is there any real reference to G and when you see pics of G she is always dressed like a baby.
Ok, I get it. Rompers are cute. ON INFANTS. If you are still dressing your 2+ year old daughter in rompers while obsessively posting pics of yourself in new outfits one has to wonder if you are feeling threatened that G may cuter than you are. And if your posts about G include such derogatory comments as calling her an asshole because she isn't cooperating with your selfish need to party all night long with you college buddies then we really have to question why in the hell did you have a kid in the first place? If all you are going to do is whine about how awful G is; how obnoxious G is; how rude G is then maybe you shouldn't have had a baby. Especially when you had to break the bank to get one.
All I can say is for all your whining; all your sad stories of desperation and hopelessness; all those tales of how unfulfilled you were without a child you sure as hell don't treat her like she is your everything.
I'm not the perfect mother. Nor will I ever proclaim to be, but clearly anyone can tell my girls are my life. I would give them anything I could if it meant they were happy and healthy. And yes, I do get upset at my daughters. I even yell on occasion; however, I would never call either one of them an asshole and I sure as hell wouldn't publish it in a public blog for the world to see.
I truly feel sorry for G. One day she will read all those nasty, selfish, and hateful things her mother wrote about her. One day she will realize that not only did her mother disrespect her and treat her like crap publicly but that she was disgraced by her own mother internationally.
Not even my mother was that cruel, but like I said; some people should never be parents. Especially when they are so self-absorbed and selfish that they feel their own child warrants such disrespect on a public forum.
That said, I am going to hug both my girls; tuck them in their own beds; kiss them; tell them how much I love them both; let them know they are my world. Because truth be told - they are my world.
That said I really think some people should never have had kids.
I used to babysit for a neighbor. She was sweet enough and her husband was always quite but that baby of theirs was another story completely. She cried and screamed all the time, refused to eat solids when it came time, and gave me the hardest time when trying to get her to take a bottle (mom breast fed). Honestly the poor child spent more time alone because that seemed to be when she was happiest. So when it was nap time I'd put a few toys in the bed with her and when she woke up she would just sit and play. I always felt bad because it seemed like no matter how hard I tried I just could not make her happy. As it turned out (and I found out strictly by accident) the entire time she was suffering with massive ear infections. So bad they had to put tubes in her ears. Poor baby. Now I really do feel bad for her.
Then one day, out of the blue her mom says she is pulling "G" to put her in a real school environment. I was completely shocked as when we started that venture she had agreed that when it came time for her to pull G she would give me some advanced notice. But to show up on a Thursday and tell me Friday will be her last day - not advanced enough. At first I was disappointed. I loved G even if she was rarely happy. After a while I was thankful I no longer had to listen to her constant whaling, and was grateful to know peace was restored.
I haven't talked to G's mom or dad since they pulled her but I do on occasion check out mom's blog just to see how G is doing. That's how I found out about the ear infections and tubes. That's also why I say some people have no business be parents.
This week I checked in to see how G was doing and what I read on mom's blog was so offensive I was appalled for G. Mom, who is a complete fashion whore (and I mean that with the upmost respect) actually had the audacity to call her two year old daughter an "asshole." SERIOUSLY ?? An asshole?
Isn't that the child you tried so hard to have you nearly went bankrupt with medical procedure after procedure Isn't this the child you wanted so bad you cried because she wasn't here yet? Isn't she the daughter you wanted so you could dress her up and make her look like a mini-you? So what the hell would possess you to call her an asshole. Worse yet, why would you do it on a public blog, knowing good and well when G grows up she is going to read that for herself?
How could one person be so offensive? Especially to her own child. Then I thought about all the posts I see her blog about - fashion, me, me, me, G, fashion, me, me, me. This mommy is about the most selfish person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. Ever. Every day its a post of pic after pic of herself in some new outfit (OMG....can you PLEASE pic a different pose for once). Only on Tuesdays is there any real reference to G and when you see pics of G she is always dressed like a baby.
Ok, I get it. Rompers are cute. ON INFANTS. If you are still dressing your 2+ year old daughter in rompers while obsessively posting pics of yourself in new outfits one has to wonder if you are feeling threatened that G may cuter than you are. And if your posts about G include such derogatory comments as calling her an asshole because she isn't cooperating with your selfish need to party all night long with you college buddies then we really have to question why in the hell did you have a kid in the first place? If all you are going to do is whine about how awful G is; how obnoxious G is; how rude G is then maybe you shouldn't have had a baby. Especially when you had to break the bank to get one.
All I can say is for all your whining; all your sad stories of desperation and hopelessness; all those tales of how unfulfilled you were without a child you sure as hell don't treat her like she is your everything.
I'm not the perfect mother. Nor will I ever proclaim to be, but clearly anyone can tell my girls are my life. I would give them anything I could if it meant they were happy and healthy. And yes, I do get upset at my daughters. I even yell on occasion; however, I would never call either one of them an asshole and I sure as hell wouldn't publish it in a public blog for the world to see.
I truly feel sorry for G. One day she will read all those nasty, selfish, and hateful things her mother wrote about her. One day she will realize that not only did her mother disrespect her and treat her like crap publicly but that she was disgraced by her own mother internationally.
Not even my mother was that cruel, but like I said; some people should never be parents. Especially when they are so self-absorbed and selfish that they feel their own child warrants such disrespect on a public forum.
That said, I am going to hug both my girls; tuck them in their own beds; kiss them; tell them how much I love them both; let them know they are my world. Because truth be told - they are my world.
National American Miss Virginia State Finalist - Princess Jessica
Can you believe it? Only 5 weeks left til the wee ones are back in school? My baby will be in kindergarten. Where did all that time go? How is it possible that five years have passed by so quickly?
And Samantha? Second grade? Really? Wow. I miss my babies but I sure do love my girls.
Speaking of my girls........how's this for cute?
Aren't they adorable?
The NAM pageant this year was a lot less stressful than it was last year, but then again Jessica didn't participate in any of the optionals so we weren't running around like wild women trying to change outfits every 20 minutes.
Friday morning began with the group photo then the dance routine practice. The princesses danced to the Barbie Mermaid song and I gotta say, it was super cute. Only issue was Jessa couldn't seem to keep up with the rest of the girls so she was slower in her transitions from one move to the next. But, she was still surprisingly good, especially considering I truly thought she would shut down on me and refuse to learn anything or participate in anything. So kudos to my baby for sticking with it no matter what.
That afternoon we got her Red Carpet photo taken then off to the Escorted Formal Wear competition. Since daddy couldn't attend we requested a volunteer escort and she got a really sweet guy who kept her calm. She was fantastic !!! Did her walk exactly like we practiced, pretty toes, circle turn, and kept her head up - only glitch was she didn't have a beautiful smile but that's probably because she was somewhat afraid. Still she was awesomely beautiful and graceful.
After the formal wear came the Personal Introductions. Here is where I thought for sure we would lose her, but low and behold she surprised me yet again. Other than not being as loud as she needed to be and a slight hesitation to get started, she was incredibly confident. Man, does that girl shine on stage.
Saturday brought about the interview. Since I wasn't allowed to watch or listen this was the hardest part for me because I simply could not "coach" her on how to properly answer the judges questions. All I could do was prepare her for some of the questions they might have asked and hope she answered them with full responses and was able to keep the conversation flowing. I will never really know how well she did in this category but I have a sneaky suspicion it wasn't her best area.
So with everything behind up except the finale Saturday was fairly leisurely. We checked out of the room around noon, met up with hubs, Mama Lue, and Papa, and managed to grab some lunch before the excitement began. And when it was her turn to walk across that stage with her State Finalist trophy she did it with such poise and grace you would have thought she was a pro instead of a newby. She even smiled beautifully.
Although, as any mother will say, my daughter was a perfect pick for the top 10 the judges had other ideas. And even though she didn't get any additional trophies or ribbons we are still so extremely excited and proud of our little baby. Knowing how very shy and reserved she is and how hard it was just to get her to open up to her TaeKwonDo instructors and classmates, even after four months, watching Jessica perform on stage, in front of hundreds of complete strangers, was one of the most amazing experiences I could have ever had.
I will not lie - pageants can be expensive and this one was more than we wanted to spend, but given the opportunity to do it again I think we will probably encourage both girls to enter every year we can afford it. That is why this year, knowing both girls will get a return invite to compete next year, we are going to start looking for sponsors early. And we are going to pump up their resume's with lots of volunteer work this year.
I have already managed to land them both an opportunity to provide lunches for our local Habitat for Humanity once a month. Hopefully we can find other opportunities to get the girls involved with charities as well as doing some fund raising events. Add to that the deep-seated desire to get both of them started in Girl Scouts this year and as long as finances hold out we are going to be doing everything we can to really give the girls the best opportunities to take home a few awards, maybe a banner or a cash prize; but most importantly - the insight to learning how lucky they both are to have all they have.
Years ago I wanted to get involved with some charities but since Samantha was just a baby I couldn't find anything that would let me have her with me. Then Jessica came along and the age restrictions were still in place. When we moved from GA to VA I looked again but still couldn't find anything that would allow two small children to help out. Now they are slightly older I am hopeful there will be more opportunities to get involved. It is my hope that by getting them involved in community service that maybe they will better appreciate what they have, be more compassionate towards those who do not have, and become better positioned later in life for some returns on their "investments". In other words, start opening those doors now so its not so hard trying to pry them open later in life.
This school year is going to be hectic. I am hoping to have the girls in Girl Scouts; they will be continuing TaeKwonDo; participating in local charities; volunteering in community services; and hopefully they will be doing good/great in school so we can avoid any necessary tutors (especially in Samantha's case).
Well, that's it. Our beautiful girls are both NAM Princesses. Sure, they don't have the official crowns but they were both deserving of one.
And with that I'm off to mow the lawn, refill prescriptions, call my dentist (damn it, this appliance isn't fitting right), clean the house, and get caught up on laundry all before trying to figure out what needs to be done for delivering lunch to Habitat for Humanity on Thursday. And, Samantha has a birthday party to attend on Saturday. Oh so much to be done.
And Samantha? Second grade? Really? Wow. I miss my babies but I sure do love my girls.
Speaking of my girls........how's this for cute?
Jessica, age 5yrs, competed 2013
Samantha, age 6yrs, competed 2012
Aren't they adorable?
The NAM pageant this year was a lot less stressful than it was last year, but then again Jessica didn't participate in any of the optionals so we weren't running around like wild women trying to change outfits every 20 minutes.
Friday morning began with the group photo then the dance routine practice. The princesses danced to the Barbie Mermaid song and I gotta say, it was super cute. Only issue was Jessa couldn't seem to keep up with the rest of the girls so she was slower in her transitions from one move to the next. But, she was still surprisingly good, especially considering I truly thought she would shut down on me and refuse to learn anything or participate in anything. So kudos to my baby for sticking with it no matter what. 
That afternoon we got her Red Carpet photo taken then off to the Escorted Formal Wear competition. Since daddy couldn't attend we requested a volunteer escort and she got a really sweet guy who kept her calm. She was fantastic !!! Did her walk exactly like we practiced, pretty toes, circle turn, and kept her head up - only glitch was she didn't have a beautiful smile but that's probably because she was somewhat afraid. Still she was awesomely beautiful and graceful.
After the formal wear came the Personal Introductions. Here is where I thought for sure we would lose her, but low and behold she surprised me yet again. Other than not being as loud as she needed to be and a slight hesitation to get started, she was incredibly confident. Man, does that girl shine on stage.
So with everything behind up except the finale Saturday was fairly leisurely. We checked out of the room around noon, met up with hubs, Mama Lue, and Papa, and managed to grab some lunch before the excitement began. And when it was her turn to walk across that stage with her State Finalist trophy she did it with such poise and grace you would have thought she was a pro instead of a newby. She even smiled beautifully. Although, as any mother will say, my daughter was a perfect pick for the top 10 the judges had other ideas. And even though she didn't get any additional trophies or ribbons we are still so extremely excited and proud of our little baby. Knowing how very shy and reserved she is and how hard it was just to get her to open up to her TaeKwonDo instructors and classmates, even after four months, watching Jessica perform on stage, in front of hundreds of complete strangers, was one of the most amazing experiences I could have ever had.
I will not lie - pageants can be expensive and this one was more than we wanted to spend, but given the opportunity to do it again I think we will probably encourage both girls to enter every year we can afford it. That is why this year, knowing both girls will get a return invite to compete next year, we are going to start looking for sponsors early. And we are going to pump up their resume's with lots of volunteer work this year.
Crowns provided by Mama Lue and Papa. Heck, they both deserved something special !!
Years ago I wanted to get involved with some charities but since Samantha was just a baby I couldn't find anything that would let me have her with me. Then Jessica came along and the age restrictions were still in place. When we moved from GA to VA I looked again but still couldn't find anything that would allow two small children to help out. Now they are slightly older I am hopeful there will be more opportunities to get involved. It is my hope that by getting them involved in community service that maybe they will better appreciate what they have, be more compassionate towards those who do not have, and become better positioned later in life for some returns on their "investments". In other words, start opening those doors now so its not so hard trying to pry them open later in life.
This school year is going to be hectic. I am hoping to have the girls in Girl Scouts; they will be continuing TaeKwonDo; participating in local charities; volunteering in community services; and hopefully they will be doing good/great in school so we can avoid any necessary tutors (especially in Samantha's case).
Well, that's it. Our beautiful girls are both NAM Princesses. Sure, they don't have the official crowns but they were both deserving of one.
And with that I'm off to mow the lawn, refill prescriptions, call my dentist (damn it, this appliance isn't fitting right), clean the house, and get caught up on laundry all before trying to figure out what needs to be done for delivering lunch to Habitat for Humanity on Thursday. And, Samantha has a birthday party to attend on Saturday. Oh so much to be done.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Wow. That was quick.
We managed to get home much earlier than I had expected so I have a few minutes to post some pics of Jessa at NAM.
While we were waiting to get Jessica registered the girls posed in front of the NAM banner at the Hyatt Regency in Reston VA.
Jessica got to meet the current NAM Virginia State Princess - Sara. The two quickly became pals as everywhere Sara went Jessica was sure to follow. She even stuck by her side during the workshop.
Once we finally got registered we headed over to get the production outfit and we scored Jessica's State Finalist banner. Congrats baby. We are so proud of you. Just look at that smile.
With registration behind us we had a couple of hours to hang out. Dinner at Panera Bread then some time to play by the water fountain.
Even Samantha was having a good time.
The workshop was an eye opener as it showed me Jessica is still quite shy, but here's hoping she is warming up to getting up on stage and being in the spotlight. We had a good day. A long day. The ride home was a quick one and now the girls are pounding some zz's while I do some last minute packing for tomorrow.
Tomorrow is the introduction and formal wear. Saturday she will do the personal interview before the finale. I don't expect much to come of this other than for Samantha to learn how to support her sister without always doing or getting at the same time, and for Jessica to learn to be strong and believe in herself. Hopefully she will gain some self confidence this weekend.
Best of luck baby girl. Trophy, crown, or nothing at all - you are now, and always will be mommy's and daddy's princess.
While we were waiting to get Jessica registered the girls posed in front of the NAM banner at the Hyatt Regency in Reston VA.
Jessica got to meet the current NAM Virginia State Princess - Sara. The two quickly became pals as everywhere Sara went Jessica was sure to follow. She even stuck by her side during the workshop.
Once we finally got registered we headed over to get the production outfit and we scored Jessica's State Finalist banner. Congrats baby. We are so proud of you. Just look at that smile.
With registration behind us we had a couple of hours to hang out. Dinner at Panera Bread then some time to play by the water fountain.
Even Samantha was having a good time.
The workshop was an eye opener as it showed me Jessica is still quite shy, but here's hoping she is warming up to getting up on stage and being in the spotlight. We had a good day. A long day. The ride home was a quick one and now the girls are pounding some zz's while I do some last minute packing for tomorrow.
Tomorrow is the introduction and formal wear. Saturday she will do the personal interview before the finale. I don't expect much to come of this other than for Samantha to learn how to support her sister without always doing or getting at the same time, and for Jessica to learn to be strong and believe in herself. Hopefully she will gain some self confidence this weekend.
Best of luck baby girl. Trophy, crown, or nothing at all - you are now, and always will be mommy's and daddy's princess.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Quick Sew
Had to create a couple of outfits for Jessica to wear this week at casual times during the pageant. Started with the dress she and Samantha will wear tomorrow during registration. Remember I made Samantha's dress two weeks ago but I had enough material left over to do one for Jessa - just doesn't have the sleeves but with a nice flower to match it looks pretty cute.
Of course I was so inspired by that dress that I decided to make her a skirt using the reversible fabric we found a few weeks ago. SUPER CUTE.
Ok, so now that she has a new pencil skirt and a new casual dress I can get to cleaning. Something I started but never seem to be able to stay on task with.
Oh well. Sewing is much more fun.
Of course I was so inspired by that dress that I decided to make her a skirt using the reversible fabric we found a few weeks ago. SUPER CUTE.
Ok, so now that she has a new pencil skirt and a new casual dress I can get to cleaning. Something I started but never seem to be able to stay on task with.
Oh well. Sewing is much more fun.
Its the Final Countdown
Oh my !!! Can you believe we only have two days until Jessica's pageant begins? Well, actually more like a day and a half. Come Thursday morning she will be at registration.
I still have to make her a new belt. Have to clean the entire house and get all the laundry done. If I don't, god only knows what I'll come home to if hubs gets his hands on the laundry. Priority one - laundry.
So much to do and so little time to do it. Not honestly, but there are days when all I really feel like doing is surfing the net. Pathetic waste of time I know, but who hasn't had a day like that now and then? Unfortunately today is not one of those days. Gotta get going.
NAM !!! Hope you're ready for my little spitball of fire. She's pretty amazing. And darn adorable.
Tomorrow will be a little crazy; and quite a long day so probably won't have anything to post until way late in the evening. Friday and Saturday I will be cheering on my little angel so no updates until at least Sunday morning- maybe evening.
Wish her luck. And I'll be sure to post pics.
I still have to make her a new belt. Have to clean the entire house and get all the laundry done. If I don't, god only knows what I'll come home to if hubs gets his hands on the laundry. Priority one - laundry.
So much to do and so little time to do it. Not honestly, but there are days when all I really feel like doing is surfing the net. Pathetic waste of time I know, but who hasn't had a day like that now and then? Unfortunately today is not one of those days. Gotta get going.
NAM !!! Hope you're ready for my little spitball of fire. She's pretty amazing. And darn adorable.
Tomorrow will be a little crazy; and quite a long day so probably won't have anything to post until way late in the evening. Friday and Saturday I will be cheering on my little angel so no updates until at least Sunday morning- maybe evening.
Wish her luck. And I'll be sure to post pics.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Pain and pageants.
All I can say is I will be SOOOOOOO glad when things get settled down again and we can afford to have permanent implants put in my jaw. This shit sucks. Five days later and I'm still in pain. The last time I had to have a tooth yanked I hurt for the first couple of days then was fine. Took longer for the wound to heal than for me to stop hurting.
This time my entire jaw is in pain. Check that - my entire right side of the face is in pain. Even my eyes hurt. And I'm already tired of taking all these meds. I get the antibiotic - I really need the infection to go away and never come back. I get the Motrin helps with inflammation. But a week later and my face is still swollen and I still require the strong pain killers.
Have I said before how much I hate meds? Especially strong meds? I'm just not a med person so having to take this stuff is really annoying. I get why but I still don't like it. The good news is I should be done with the Motrin and the antibiotic today. I started taking half a pain killer instead of a whole one because I really hate how sleepy it makes me. Half a pill seems to last 4-5 hours before my jaw begins feeling like some little minion is pounding away at it with a jack-hammer. Yeah, that shit hurts.
At half a pill every 6 hours I should have enough to get me through the next two days but then what? I'm really worried the pain won't stop considering it took this long to subside any at all. My follow up appt isn't until the 31st and my regular dentist is out of town until the beginning of August. So now I'm worrying that I will still be hurting so bad that I need (not want, but really need) the meds and may run out. That's why I'm gonna try extending my pill times out to at least 6 hours. Hopefully I can make it to 8 hours but I'm somehow doubting that will happen today. Either way I really need to be at a level of pain that I can tolerate before I run out of meds.
Ok, enough of my whining. What is happening today?
Well for starters I am getting caught up on laundry - haven't been able to do anything last week so I need to catch up on housework this week. And lots of stuff needs to get done fast because Thursday is the first day of Jessica's pageant weekend. Holy smokes.
My baby girl is doing a pageant. She is a state finalist. My sweet baby Jessica is a Miss Virginia National American Miss State Finalist. I am so very proud of her and am wishing her all the luck in the world. My only hope is that she doesn't freeze up and refuse to go on stage when the time comes. I really need her to learn how to have more self confidence. She needs to trust herself. She needs to know she can do anything she wants to. Most importantly; she needs to believe in herself.
Even so if she does nothing right and my biggest wish is that she just enjoy herself and learn to trust in who she is. I will still love and adore her no matter what.
We have her evening gown ready and her interview outfit ready (well, almost. I have to make a thicker belt for the dress to look right). I will need to get everything packed away on Wednesday. Thursday afternoon we take the drive up to Reston for Registration and back home that evening. Up super early Friday morning for hair and then hit the road to be there in time for Orientation. Friday will be her big day - evening gown and introductions. We'll stay at the hotel on Friday night to get a good start on Saturday morning. Then the big finale on Saturday evening.
We'll need to really practice her dance routine when we figure out what her moves will be (should find that out on Thursday). I've been wondering if I should enter her into a few photo shoot contests like we did Samantha last year. Would like to give her the opportunity to get at least one or two trophies.
Either way we will need to get the trophy shelves up in both girls rooms this week. Maybe I'll get started on that today after finishing laundry and cleaning bathrooms. Maybe. I'll have to see how I'm feeling considering I haven't been able to do much all of last week.
Oh, and I just have to say, I kind of missed working out last week. Maybe I'll run downstairs and get a mile or two in on the treadmill. Wonder if that will make me feel better or worse? Guess I'm about to find out.
This time my entire jaw is in pain. Check that - my entire right side of the face is in pain. Even my eyes hurt. And I'm already tired of taking all these meds. I get the antibiotic - I really need the infection to go away and never come back. I get the Motrin helps with inflammation. But a week later and my face is still swollen and I still require the strong pain killers.
Have I said before how much I hate meds? Especially strong meds? I'm just not a med person so having to take this stuff is really annoying. I get why but I still don't like it. The good news is I should be done with the Motrin and the antibiotic today. I started taking half a pain killer instead of a whole one because I really hate how sleepy it makes me. Half a pill seems to last 4-5 hours before my jaw begins feeling like some little minion is pounding away at it with a jack-hammer. Yeah, that shit hurts.
At half a pill every 6 hours I should have enough to get me through the next two days but then what? I'm really worried the pain won't stop considering it took this long to subside any at all. My follow up appt isn't until the 31st and my regular dentist is out of town until the beginning of August. So now I'm worrying that I will still be hurting so bad that I need (not want, but really need) the meds and may run out. That's why I'm gonna try extending my pill times out to at least 6 hours. Hopefully I can make it to 8 hours but I'm somehow doubting that will happen today. Either way I really need to be at a level of pain that I can tolerate before I run out of meds.
Ok, enough of my whining. What is happening today?
Well for starters I am getting caught up on laundry - haven't been able to do anything last week so I need to catch up on housework this week. And lots of stuff needs to get done fast because Thursday is the first day of Jessica's pageant weekend. Holy smokes.
My baby girl is doing a pageant. She is a state finalist. My sweet baby Jessica is a Miss Virginia National American Miss State Finalist. I am so very proud of her and am wishing her all the luck in the world. My only hope is that she doesn't freeze up and refuse to go on stage when the time comes. I really need her to learn how to have more self confidence. She needs to trust herself. She needs to know she can do anything she wants to. Most importantly; she needs to believe in herself.
Even so if she does nothing right and my biggest wish is that she just enjoy herself and learn to trust in who she is. I will still love and adore her no matter what.
We have her evening gown ready and her interview outfit ready (well, almost. I have to make a thicker belt for the dress to look right). I will need to get everything packed away on Wednesday. Thursday afternoon we take the drive up to Reston for Registration and back home that evening. Up super early Friday morning for hair and then hit the road to be there in time for Orientation. Friday will be her big day - evening gown and introductions. We'll stay at the hotel on Friday night to get a good start on Saturday morning. Then the big finale on Saturday evening.
We'll need to really practice her dance routine when we figure out what her moves will be (should find that out on Thursday). I've been wondering if I should enter her into a few photo shoot contests like we did Samantha last year. Would like to give her the opportunity to get at least one or two trophies.
Either way we will need to get the trophy shelves up in both girls rooms this week. Maybe I'll get started on that today after finishing laundry and cleaning bathrooms. Maybe. I'll have to see how I'm feeling considering I haven't been able to do much all of last week.
Oh, and I just have to say, I kind of missed working out last week. Maybe I'll run downstairs and get a mile or two in on the treadmill. Wonder if that will make me feel better or worse? Guess I'm about to find out.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Appliance delivered.
Wow does this hurt. That is, wow does this hurt when I haven't had any strong meds.
I made it in plenty of time for my appointment, 30 minutes early, and still ended up waiting for nearly an hour. What the hell? Do these Dr's realize what kind of anxiety a person goes through when the realization half their front teeth are going to be yanked out finally hits them? I managed to hold it together until I got into the chair and then it happened - water works.
Holy crap. No matter how hard I tried to prepare myself for this moment I was still unable to keep my emotional response to the thought of loosing my teeth under control. A few shots of numbing agent and a couple of seconds to myself and I was fine. Man, did that guy use some strong meds to numb my face. Here we are nearly 10 hours later and I still have a numb lower lip but when the meds wore off and I was sitting at Walgreens waiting on them to fill the perscriptions I really began to feel the pain I had been dreading all along. That excruciatingly painful throbbing that happens when the really good meds wear off. Ouch !!!
What took nearly an hour to prepare for only took a minute to yank out. Both teeth gone. As soon as he pulled the first one I swear I felt instant relief. As if someone had opened a valve and let all that infection run out. The tooth with the cap that kept falling off must have been harder to get out as it was cracked when I got to look at it. That's right. I looked at my now missing teeth. And boy oh boy am I so glad I got the infected one out of there.
When I went for a consult not too long ago to discuss what was going on with it I was told the ligaments had taken over some of the bone structure and that was causing the infections, but it wasn't until I actually saw the tooth for myself that I finally understood what all the concern was about. To describe it as best I can I would have to say it is like looking at the damage caused by a very dull drill bit. A crater in the middle of the tooth appears to have been "eaten" away by the ligament and the infections. If my tooth looked that bad after 20 years I can't imagine how bad my jaw bone must appear to be, but I certainly know there will be no avoiding having a bone graph done if we are looking at having permanent implants installed later.
From here I have to wait at least three months for the extractions to heal completely. Then depending on our financial situation at the time we will need to figure out when to do the bone graph and eventually have posts put in to support an implant. It will be a long, painful, and costly procedure but the end result will be the best solution. And at long last (crossing fingers here) I will no longer have to deal with constant infections, ear aches, and painful teeth/jaw issues because now there is no tooth left for the infection to destroy.
Worst thing about the appliance so far is getting used to the feeling of having something foreign in the front of my mouth. If the pain would subside enough I might actually try getting some sleep. Tried laying down but it hurt way too much. Think I'm going to try the chair with the heating pad or an ice pack - which ever feels better.
I made it in plenty of time for my appointment, 30 minutes early, and still ended up waiting for nearly an hour. What the hell? Do these Dr's realize what kind of anxiety a person goes through when the realization half their front teeth are going to be yanked out finally hits them? I managed to hold it together until I got into the chair and then it happened - water works.
Holy crap. No matter how hard I tried to prepare myself for this moment I was still unable to keep my emotional response to the thought of loosing my teeth under control. A few shots of numbing agent and a couple of seconds to myself and I was fine. Man, did that guy use some strong meds to numb my face. Here we are nearly 10 hours later and I still have a numb lower lip but when the meds wore off and I was sitting at Walgreens waiting on them to fill the perscriptions I really began to feel the pain I had been dreading all along. That excruciatingly painful throbbing that happens when the really good meds wear off. Ouch !!!
What took nearly an hour to prepare for only took a minute to yank out. Both teeth gone. As soon as he pulled the first one I swear I felt instant relief. As if someone had opened a valve and let all that infection run out. The tooth with the cap that kept falling off must have been harder to get out as it was cracked when I got to look at it. That's right. I looked at my now missing teeth. And boy oh boy am I so glad I got the infected one out of there.
When I went for a consult not too long ago to discuss what was going on with it I was told the ligaments had taken over some of the bone structure and that was causing the infections, but it wasn't until I actually saw the tooth for myself that I finally understood what all the concern was about. To describe it as best I can I would have to say it is like looking at the damage caused by a very dull drill bit. A crater in the middle of the tooth appears to have been "eaten" away by the ligament and the infections. If my tooth looked that bad after 20 years I can't imagine how bad my jaw bone must appear to be, but I certainly know there will be no avoiding having a bone graph done if we are looking at having permanent implants installed later.
From here I have to wait at least three months for the extractions to heal completely. Then depending on our financial situation at the time we will need to figure out when to do the bone graph and eventually have posts put in to support an implant. It will be a long, painful, and costly procedure but the end result will be the best solution. And at long last (crossing fingers here) I will no longer have to deal with constant infections, ear aches, and painful teeth/jaw issues because now there is no tooth left for the infection to destroy.
Worst thing about the appliance so far is getting used to the feeling of having something foreign in the front of my mouth. If the pain would subside enough I might actually try getting some sleep. Tried laying down but it hurt way too much. Think I'm going to try the chair with the heating pad or an ice pack - which ever feels better.
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